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Do You Lose Your Friends When You Have Kids?

Updated: Sep 10, 2020

Short Answer, Yes.

There is no doubt that your tribe will shift and change through adulthood. Parenthood, for me was the biggest shift. I was no longer invited to movie and wine nights, late night cocktail hours, or impromptu shopping trips. To be honest I didn't even realize the shift had happened until I was no longer exhausted from the newborn phase. When I finally felt like me again and was eating and showering like a normal functioning adult, it hit me. I realized I was no longer invited to my normal social outings with my normal circle. Don't get me wrong I had my faithful circle but even they had stopped inviting me to certain events. Not because they didn't want me there but because they didn't know if I was emotionally or physically available to go. Being a parent keeps you busy and your schedule changes along with the 50 things you now have to pack with you to go anywhere. They see that and don't want to add pressure to you but in turn actually end up leaving you behind. Your not apart of the funny stories anymore or there for the inside jokes. So you grow apart and as hard as that was to realize, I'm okay with it.

It's been 3 years now and I can tell you that you still might not be invited to functions people think parents don't want to go to. BUT I am now invited to an entire different world of parenting activities that I get to enjoy with my family, which is pretty special too. I get to walk in to places with my toddler and her 10 items she had to bring to lunch and wave at my mom friend who is struggling to keep her toddler from running around and it just fits. My old circle now watches my toddler run around the house and make a mess while they laugh and get a brief moment of parenting whiplash. Your world changes in many ways when you become a parent and this is one of the major ones. I found that it can sometimes be lonely and you will feel left out when you see the photos or hear of fun outings you weren't invited to, but you make new memories and have different kinds of outings to look forward to. You join parenting groups or mommy hiking groups and build new relationships that last a lifetime with people that are on a similar journey as you. Life changes, so change with it and make the best of it.

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